First Time Mom At 41
Yep, I am that Mom. The older one, you aren’t sure whether the child is hers, the child is adopted, or even whether it’s her grandchild, and believe me, I have had all these assumptions and more made. But, it never fails, even after all the looks and questions, someone will always ask, “Do you wish you had your daughter earlier”?
Hmm, let me think about your insensitive question. All jokes aside, I used to let it bother me because I felt like people were looking at me like I had done something wrong or even a disservice to my daughter. After all, I was what society considered an older Mom. I won’t say old because there are still some ladies out there who are older than I was giving birth, so no way do I want to take the title from them, LOL.
I have come to realize that most of the people asking these questions either don’t know me, or they only know what they see on social media. So despite the world now thinking they know you just because they are your “friend” on social media, they don’t know the events, struggles, or any of the other life events that led to where you are now.
I mean, honestly, it’s not like my husband, and I had this plan to be late in life parents just so we could answer these questions our entire life. The only goal we had was to be married before we had a child, we wanted to be financially and emotionally ready to put her first, and we wanted to give her the best life possible, which included us both being present as much as possible. So the fact that these things all happened later for us than others, well, I think that was God’s plan for our life.
When I was in my 20’s and early 30’s, I was working in an office and traveling the country for work most of the year. Was I ready to have a child then, or could I have given her the time, love, and Mother I wanted to be? No, I couldn’t have. I knew that then, and I definitely see that now.
With that said, please re-read that section...This was and is MY journey and MY life. God has his plans and hands in each of our lives. You will never find me asking a young Mother if she wished she had waited. That’s her journey, just like this one is ours. Every child is born at the time, and to the parents, they were meant for.
Do I wish I could live to see my daughter grow old? Of course, I do! These are all things every Mother wishes for, no matter how old she is when she gives birth. But, unfortunately, none of us are promised any given time whether we have our children at 21 or 41. All we can do is love our children every day we are granted on this earth. No matter what, when my time on this earth is up, I want my baby girl to always know she was longed for, wished for, prayed for, and will forever be loved.
‘As a mama I’m not perfect. I make mistakes. I forget things. I lose my cool. And some days I go a little crazy. But, it’s okay because in the end, no one could ever love my child the way I do.’
So, to the ladies out there who are still trying for that first child or wishing for that second, ignore age. Ignore what society tells you is “right or wrong.” Listen to your body! You and only you know what you are capable of either physically, mentally, or financially. Sometimes, the strength of motherhood is greater than the world’s natural laws.
Before my daughter was born, I thought I understood the limits of my heart and knew all the boundaries I had in myself. It is an extraordinary moment when you have those boundaries thrown out and realize the love you had is inexhaustible. A baby is something you carry inside for nine months, in your arms for just a few years, and in your heart until the day you die. Whether your 20 or 40, this world needs parents who’s little ones never have to wonder where to go for love, support, or a hug. The parents who will always be there for them no matter how much they grow up. This world needs more love no matter what age it comes from…..
