Selma & SMITH CO

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If I Die Young

Nobody likes to think about their mortality, but things have happened that I never thought I would see in my lifetime in the past couple of years. A virus that shook us to our core and changed the way we live, how we think, and how we look at the future. Everywhere I turned, there was some form of heartache or illness plaguing people I know, young and old. Lives were taken entirely too soon. My daughter grew up in a bubble for the first two years of her life and is just now getting the social interaction she so desperately needed. 

These losses and heartache made me mindful that good health is a privilege and a true blessing. All the everyday things I take for granted – dropping off my daughter at school, party planning, playing with my fur baby, laughing with my husband, and watching my daughter explore outdoors– would seem like incredible blessings if one day I woke up and couldn’t do them.

I sat down and did what I’d thought about doing I first became pregnant with my daughter: I wrote down long-term advice and life lessons for her that I had learned over the years. Then, I thought about what I want her to know when she starts dealing with boys… drama with friends… sports… going to college… starting working… getting married… beginning a family, and so on. Just in case I’m not around.

Below is a list I’ve made as a starting point, which I am sure will add to over time.. But, I’m sharing it to encourage others to do the same. You don’t have to be a parent; you can be anyone who cares about the younger generation. Yes, this was hard to compose, and I did cry as some of these hit hard remembering the people or places who taught me these lessons. But, this was also a relief because with a written legacy comes a little peace of mind that my girl will always have a piece of her Mommy with her in my own words should something happen, and I couldn’t express these. 

With that said, here’s my list. Here are my pointers for my baby girl as she grows into the world-changer I know she will be…


When you stop learning you stop growing.”

Kenneth H. Blanchard


  1. Be Appreciative. No one in this world becomes who they are without help. You may be the one putting in the work, but those who encourage, advise and love you are driving factors to the end result. Above all, thank God for everything you have, the good times, the painful times, and the struggles. He made a plan for you long before you started your journey and will forever be your guiding light.

  2. Be Respectful. This goes for yourself, your parents, future coaches, future friends, future bosses, etc. You will not always agree with those around you, but you can always respect them.

  3. Nothing of real value can ever be bought. Love, friendship, honor, respect. All these things have to be earned. Live a life finding joy in the priceless moments.

  4. Life's Not Fair. It never was, and it won't ever be. Be the warrior I raised you to be and work through whatever life throws your way with courage, class, and positivity. Never let yourself be ruled by fear and negativity. Refuse to play the victim and refuse to quit.

  5. Know Your Circle. Your circle should want you to win. Your circle should cheer the loudest when you have good news to share. If they don't, find a new circle.

  6. Be A Cheerleader For Someone Else. This sounds counter to everything culture tells us about how to behave, but what if your belief in someone else changed their life and yours? This world is big enough for all of us to shine, stand tall sweet girl, and let your voice for others be heard.

  7. Be Careful With Your Words. A mentor once told me, "Always remember your words can plant gardens or burn whole forests down." Be the one who inspires hope , not destroy it.

  8. Own Your Choices. You will make mistakes. You will feel ashamed. You will know the sting of regret. When you learn from mistakes, you end up in a better place.

  9. Embrace Your Failures. Whether we like it or not, failure is a stepping stone to achieving our dreams. People who avoid failure also avoid success.

  10. Go All In, All The Time. No matter what you choose to do, give it everything you have every single moment. Dig deep and know you gave it your all. No regrets!

  11. Details Matter. The little things, the little moments...These take you from good to great.

  12. Don't Ever Lose Your Magic. That part of you that shines and sets you apart, Don't ever let the world change that.

  13. Lift As You Climb. Chase your dreams with everything you have but don't forget to lend a helping hand along the way. We always rise higher when we are lifting others.

  14. Stay Humble. True success is when your work and achievements speak for themselves. No matter how high you get, stay grounded.

  15. Expect Better. Even when you reach your goals, never stop improving. No one will ever be perfect and just because you may be the best of those being judged, understand when you have more to give.

  16. Define Your Own Success. What looks successful to the world will not always match your goals. Find what makes YOU happy, and you will find your success. What looks ordinary to some is extraordinary to others.

  17. Two Types Of People. There will be those who try to knock you down and those who never let you fall. You will learn that both of these make you stronger.

  18. Be Your Own Hero. You don't need anyone to rescue you. When the time comes for relationships, choose someone you want to be with you, not someone you think you need.

  19. Pause Before Posting. Before you ever put anything on the internet, take a moment and ask yourself a few things.

    • Who will see this now and in the future?

    •  Is this a reaction/feeling that may change?

    •  How does this make me look?

    •  Is this hurtful to others?

    •  How would I feel if someone posted this about my family or me?

  20. Enjoy Your Life. It's okay to be different! God created you exactly the way you are for a reason. Each one of your qualities was given to you for a specific reason. The things that make you different will become the things that make you shine. Take chances, travel, make time for the things that make you smile. Just be you, sweet girl, and live one remarkable life.


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